Anger, Self-Doubt, Relationship Problems

Anonymous

Me and the people around me in my life were of the opinion that therapy was a waste of money and that many of the regular intense feelings that I had every day (anger, doubt in myself, my choices and my relationships) and the overthinking/analysis that I performed in order to help “figure these things out” were just “part of the parcel of life” and that I should just calm down and get on with it.

Knowing therapy was always an option, I took the hard approach for over 10 years. My views were “I’m a mentally strong man and I will battle this every day and NEVER break like others around me” “I won’t show a chink in my armour or any sign of weakness in a million years” “I will outlast a weak minded society and continue being successful in life and on a pathway that I decide is best for me” “the world is wrong – the news, social media (professional and social) reports are jumping on the bandwagon and giving in to the “snowflake generation” by constantly mollycoddling society and simply ticking a box with their focus on mental health”

I thought that all I needed were close family and friends to talk to about what I was going through and that this would be enough to reassure myself that I was fine and that I was on the right path regardless. Whilst this approach was very helpful and probably a major reason why I didn’t end up in a terrible state, this only provided relief for short periods and I was always back to square one again very quickly. After all i was someone who often doubted myself and others.

Everything came on top at one particular point and fortunately I was able to recognise this along with the people who were close to me (through my openness with them they were able to spot this too). There was no “major event” that triggered this however I concluded that I had to take action if I was to prevent an entire lifetime fighting a constant and unsustainable mental battle every day.

I thoroughly researched therapists and decided that Judy was the most qualified person to help me. The descriptions / biographies on Klearminds allowed me to do this a lot easier than other websites and if you are reluctant to try therapy this process can be off putting but I urge you to persist.

I didn’t expect it but the first session was life altering in itself. This was simply the “getting to know the you” stage but saying the words out loud to Judy provided an overwhelming sense of release and resulted in a surprisingly emotional first session. This was the start of what was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.

It’s now 1 month after I have completed therapy and I couldn’t recommend Judy more highly. The key points/takeaways for me were:

We set clear goals and achieved them which disproved my thoughts that therapy was a waste of money/I’d be strung along forever making marginal or temporary improvements.

You have to be completely honest so that Judy can help you (there is never judgement, just help)

I have a greater understanding of myself and my brain than ever before

In order to get the most out of these sessions you must be prepared to apply what you learn in real life.

The techniques and clarity that I have gained have ended the constant mental battle for all of the issues that I felt I had.

Be kind to yourself (for real)

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Maggie Morrow, counselling, CBT therapy, life coach and psychotherapist London. MSc Integrative Psychotherapy, BSc Psychology, Adv Dip, UKCP.

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