Perfectionism Therapy

For some, perfectionism is positive.  They use their drive and goals to strive for the life they want.  They can push for perfection, without a loss of self-esteem and they also feel pleased about the effort and commitment they make.

For others, the impacts of perfectionism can be negative. They rarely feel satisfied or secure about what they’ve done, frequently being critical of themselves and others, who continue to fall short of perfectionist standards.

The origins or causes of perfectionism are less clear.  It could be caused by a fear of judgement, or a way of avoiding any disapproval from others.  Early childhood experiences, such as having parents who communicate unrealistic expectations, could play a role.  If you  believe that your self-worth is based on achievements, perfectionism may find fertile ground to develop.

So, while most would consider having high standards and striving for excellence a good thing, as this enables some of our elite sports people to train long and hard to reach excellence. Perfectionism can involve setting impossible standards and that anything short of perfection is terrible, some believing that minor imperfections are catastrophic.  Can you imagine going through life believing that you should never make a mistake?

So when perfectionism is operating you might feel:-

Of course, producing high quality work, with laser like focus and attention to detail is exciting.   But when the consequences of imperfection are small, or we need to deliver something quickly which is “good enough”, then perfectionist tendencies can be less than helpful and sometimes harmful.

Therefore, it may be worthwhile considering the standards you use, and how you judge yourself.  Would it help to loosen these standards and ease the stress and anxiety of trying so hard to be perfect? Or does even the thought of loosening your standards elicit fear and anxiety?