Relationship Breakup – Regaining Self-Confidence

I decided to try therapy after my relationship ended. I wanted to understand why it failed (I blamed myself for it as I have thought that I was “broken”) and I wanted to understand what I was doing wrong and how to change it. I also wanted to be more open, to communicate better, to feel more confident and in control of my life and to be more optimistic about my future.

During therapy we talked about my patterns in behaviour, the way I relate to my partners, the way I think and feel and what do I tell myself in critical situations. We also talked about my childhood and how it influenced the way I am now. The first outcome of the therapy was that I stopped blaming myself for my failed relationship. I realised that I was in fact in an abusive relationship and I also understood why. This discovery has given me an enormous feeling of relief. I felt physically lighter as if a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders. Even my friends have noticed this change and were commenting that I seem more relaxed, happier and that I smile more.

Once the relationship issues have been sorted and put aside we started to talk about me, what I wanted and about my future goals. At the beginning it seemed as a daunting task as every time I tried to think about my future I ended up feeling depressed, anxious and stuck. I felt like all the good things were behind me and there was nothing there to look forward. Again we talked about my childhood. I realised that I had a limited influence over my parent’s behaviour and that in fact they had failed me, not the other way round. I stopped blaming myself for my childhood and I understood that I am not “broken” as I have thought all my life. Again this discovery has given me a huge feeling of relief.

After 3 months of therapy I feel stronger and more in control, I trust and respect myself more. I also feel happier and more optimistic about my future. I know there will be ups and downs but I feel that I can handle them. I feel that I will be OK.

I really enjoyed working with Daniella. She was genuinely concerned about my issues and committed to making a difference. Sometimes I would came to the session feeling heavy and blank, as if I had nothing to say and she was able to ask questions that led to the interesting interpretations and as a consequence I felt better; I felt motivated and inspired. She helped me to look at my childhood and at my life differently; by asking questions I have not thought of asking myself, naming the obvious but somehow forgotten; by pointing out patterns that were destructive and helping me to understand where they came from and how to change them. It was thoroughly insightful and satisfying experience.