CBT for Low Self Esteem

This Financial Analyst and working mother had to deal with redundancy, a difficult new job, relationship challenges, child rearing and her own history of being unsupported and bullied in the past. Here’s what she says:

I started to see Maggie for ways to help me deal with old patterns of thoughts which lead to increased levels of stress and low confidence. She really helped me understand the roots of my thinking, how things had changed through time and ways in which I could shape my thoughts differently and break free of my old patterns. As a result, my stress levels have vastly improved and I have a very different outlook on life. I have also been able to break away from old patterns of thoughts which has been very positive in helping me deal with new situations. Maggie has a great ability to be empathetic. She is a great listener and can tailor therapy sessions to your needs and how you can best work through your sessions.

When I first started seeing Maggie I felt very unmotivated, lonely and exhausted. It seemed the more I tried to fix things myself, the worse they got. I sought counselling as a last resort, when I simply didn’t know what else to do.

Our sessions were hard work at first. Maggie was very good at challenging the negative way I thought about myself. But she was also a brilliant listener and our sessions were incredibly motivating. She was very good at explaining why I felt the way I did. She made me see that I wasn’t “crazy” or even unusual, which made me feel less isolated. Aside from being someone understanding to talk to, Maggie taught me through exercises to help me practice thinking about myself and my life in a more positive light.

Maggie helped me get to know myself better. She helped me identify things about life that I enjoy, and taught me to feel good about those things! She also helped me identify the things that I didn’t like, and to find the strength to get rid of them! My relationships with my friends and family have greatly improved. I have gone from tolerating life to loving it, including the bumpy bits. I cannot recommend Maggie enough. I will be forever grateful to her.

I found my time in therapy with Judy a very positive experience. I had therapy with Judy for about a year and a half. I suffer from generalised anxiety, social anxiety, depression and porn addiction. I tried therapy about ten years ago and it helped me considerably, but I had fallen back into old thinking patterns and forgotten many of the tools I learned.

I tried other therapists a couple of times for several months which didn’t help, but I could tell in the first session Judy was likely to be able to help me. It’s important to find the right therapist for you.

The things I found most helpful about therapy with Judy were:

I felt comfortable talking about very personal things without feeling judged. Talking about my thoughts made me more conscious of them and enabled me to figure out why I felt anxious and/or depressed. With Judy’s help and a different perspective, I was able to challenge negative thoughts and break down problems or issues I faced and come up with a wide range of possible solutions. This process made me feel like a weight was lifted, helped me make much better life decisions and gave me more confidence to go through with things I wanted to do instead of being too scared.

I learned many techniques I could draw upon if I started to feel down or anxious. Having these tools made my emotions feel more manageable. I started to feel more in control and self-sufficient when dealing with negative thoughts and emotions, though this took time and practice.
Learning about the nervous system and how anxiety works helped me understand how I could interrupt the vicious cycle of anxiety. The extra support therapy gave me helped me to feel less isolated and alone with my problems.

The changes I’ve made in my life since starting therapy have made me feel more aligned with myself and significantly increased my levels of happiness. In addition to therapy, I’ve tried medication (sertraline) which I think has made a big difference too. The combination of these two approaches has worked well for me.

It’s not that everything is amazing all the time, I still have anxiety issues but nowhere near as intensely and when I do experience anxiety, it doesn’t bother me as much. I also don’t get the catastrophic lows that I frequently used to experience. I’m happier, more positive and optimistic, I have closer relationships with my family, my feelings of loneliness have almost gone entirely and I’m pursuing a career I feel passionate about. I’m able to look forward to things again and enjoy social situations with good friends. For these reasons, I would recommend therapy with Judy.

I’m still a work in progress but I’ve noticed a big improvement in my life and how I feel.

I came to Judy struggling to understand the impact sexual abuse that had taken place in my childhood had had on me. I knew there were things bubbling below the surface that were weaving their way into how I formed relationships and the way I have behaved since I was a teenager, but I didn’t know what they were or how to deal with them. The hours I’ve spent working with Judy have been the most valuable of my life. Not only did we form a trusting, patient relationship, but she helped me slowly understand what had happened to me. After [three] months of work I now feel equipped to do things differently. It’s been the most liberating and empowering experience and I’ve learnt things that will stay with me forever. Thank you Judy!

This is a testimonial from a young woman who wanted to develop her confidence and assertiveness and through our work effectively tackled some difficult family and personal relationships.

I decided to book a course of counselling as a 30th birthday present to myself. I was aware of wanting to have a bit more confidence and be more assertive and of having a couple of unresolved issues which I would benefit from working though. I picked Maggie after looking at the websites of several therapists in my area and deciding that her working style would suit me best. We had about 10 sessions together and I found them hugely beneficial. I think you get the most out of counselling if you are prepared to put in some ‘homework’ yourself between the sessions. Maggie did a great job of supporting me as I worked through various issues, I felt very comfortable around her and she offered lots of insights each week. I would very much recommend anyone to work with her.

I had therapy with Amanda for one year. I began the sessions when I was very unwell with Long Covid/ ME/CFS. Initially I didn’t even know if I would manage to talk for one hour. I remember our first session vividly, I was lay in bed crying and didn’t put the camera on. Amanda reached through to me during that call, in my darkest hour. I felt her warmth and empathy and her ability to look deeper into what was happening with me.

Fast forward a year and I’ve got my life back. I’ve just been for a run, am a Mum to my boys again and am loving life. Amanda was a huge part of my recovery. I believe that she helped to save my life. I will never forget her.

The connection between my mental health and physical health were much more entwined than I had realised. Amanda helped me to make this connection. She also helped me connect how past traumas and stressors had impacted to my decline in health. Amanda worked through past traumas with me at a pace that I was happy with. She never pushed me to go deeper into things than I felt able to do. She helped me release blame and shame from myself, by realising that certain things that had happened were not my fault.

Amanda helped me to become more confident to make the decisions that are right for my life. I was able to reflect on people pleasing qualities within myself that had lead me in directions that weren’t right for me.

Amanda showed me compassion, understanding and validation. She validated that what I had felt wasn’t wrong and that helped me enormously. She is kind, caring and so knowledgeable. I’ll hold her in my heart forever. I’m finished the sessions as I was ready to get on with my life. This just happened naturally. Thank you to KlearMinds for taking such care in matching me with the right therapist for me.

Me and the people around me in my life were of the opinion that therapy was a waste of money and that many of the regular intense feelings that I had every day (anger, doubt in myself, my choices and my relationships) and the overthinking/analysis that I performed in order to help “figure these things out” were just “part of the parcel of life” and that I should just calm down and get on with it.

Knowing therapy was always an option, I took the hard approach for over 10 years. My views were “I’m a mentally strong man and I will battle this every day and NEVER break like others around me” “I won’t show a chink in my armour or any sign of weakness in a million years” “I will outlast a weak minded society and continue being successful in life and on a pathway that I decide is best for me” “the world is wrong – the news, social media (professional and social) reports are jumping on the bandwagon and giving in to the “snowflake generation” by constantly mollycoddling society and simply ticking a box with their focus on mental health”

I thought that all I needed were close family and friends to talk to about what I was going through and that this would be enough to reassure myself that I was fine and that I was on the right path regardless. Whilst this approach was very helpful and probably a major reason why I didn’t end up in a terrible state, this only provided relief for short periods and I was always back to square one again very quickly. After all i was someone who often doubted myself and others.

Everything came on top at one particular point and fortunately I was able to recognise this along with the people who were close to me (through my openness with them they were able to spot this too). There was no “major event” that triggered this however I concluded that I had to take action if I was to prevent an entire lifetime fighting a constant and unsustainable mental battle every day.

I thoroughly researched therapists and decided that Judy was the most qualified person to help me. The descriptions / biographies on Klearminds allowed me to do this a lot easier than other websites and if you are reluctant to try therapy this process can be off putting but I urge you to persist.

I didn’t expect it but the first session was life altering in itself. This was simply the “getting to know the you” stage but saying the words out loud to Judy provided an overwhelming sense of release and resulted in a surprisingly emotional first session. This was the start of what was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.

It’s now 1 month after I have completed therapy and I couldn’t recommend Judy more highly. The key points/takeaways for me were:

We set clear goals and achieved them which disproved my thoughts that therapy was a waste of money/I’d be strung along forever making marginal or temporary improvements.

You have to be completely honest so that Judy can help you (there is never judgement, just help)

I have a greater understanding of myself and my brain than ever before

In order to get the most out of these sessions you must be prepared to apply what you learn in real life.

The techniques and clarity that I have gained have ended the constant mental battle for all of the issues that I felt I had.

Be kind to yourself (for real)

Had a very positive experience working with Kate and KlearMinds. Kate was very easy to talk to and gave me space to do sessions in the way that worked best for me and I came out of them feeling refreshed and motivated. I would definitely recommend Kate to anyone looking to work through things in therapy, she was kind, thoughtful and always reliable even when I was a bit awkward about finding times that suited my schedule.

I have been in therapy with Klearminds the past 3.5 years and it was an absolute delight working with Mita, one may say truly a life changing experience. Throughout my journey with Mita I have gained a self confidence that I never knew was possible for me, which has positively affected my career, my relationships as well as my long forgotten personal passions that I finally came in touch with again. I very much enjoyed every single therapy session with Mita, each time it brought me a little closer to being my true self and gaining trust in who I am – something that I have been struggling with for a very long time. Mita’s kind, respectful and reflective approach made this process very enjoyable, and I would highly recommend sessions with her to literally anyone who is longing for an improvement in life quality – for me it was one of the best investments I have made. Thank you Klearminds for everything!

I started to see Maggie as a work coach at a time when I was frustrated with my job and felt like I was working myself into the ground, but not getting any returns. She gave me invaluable advice that made me think about my needs and my worth. Her support made me realise I wasn’t failing, which was an issue for me. Within weeks, I’d left my job. My new confidence meant that, when I was offered a new job, I was able to ask for the role and salary I wanted without feeling like an imposter or that I didn’t deserve it. I’m now in a job I love, and have just been promoted!

My therapy was supposed to just be about work, but Maggie delved into my past and roots and made me see why I was struggling in relationships too. Just like work, I was aiming to please people and feeling like a failure when I couldn’t fix everything. I’m now much more confident and comfortable with who I am, and I understand my feelings more. I’ve been in a great relationship for almost two years now.

The science approach from Maggie appealed to me as I’m not really into the ‘how do you feel about that’ approach constantly. Maggie challenged me, was blunt with me, tested me, but also listened to me and never forgot a previous conversation. I’ve recommended her to numerous friends since and I know she’s helped them massively too.

I cannot recommend Maggie enough. I had tried counselling before and thought it wasn’t for me. I now realise that finding the right counsellor makes all the difference.

I went to see Maggie when I felt I was no longer able to cope and everything in my life was going wrong. I couldn’t understand why. Maggie was very incisive in identifying the issues. My sessions with her have not only helped me gain an understanding of my habits and patterns but also given me the tools to break the bad habits and understand what is important. As a result I feel in control, grounded and confident in all parts of my life and most importantly, I feel capable of moving forward in my life. My only regret is that I hadn’t found Maggie sooner.

Had a very positive experience working with Kate and KlearMinds. Kate was very easy to talk to and gave me space to do sessions in the way that worked best for me and I came out of them feeling refreshed and motivated. I would definitely recommend Kate to anyone looking to work through things in therapy, she was kind, thoughtful and always reliable even when I was a bit awkward about finding times that suited my schedule.