Whether or not you’re in favour of committing to New Year’s Resolutions, the beginning of the year offers a great opportunity to review not only your physical health but your mental health too. Are there positive changes you would love to make this year?
Psychotherapy can give you the capacity to improve your life in many ways. Discover how to manage difficult issues with greater ease, create better relationships and take your life in a direction that gives you more personal fulfilment.
Therapy can be an incredibly useful tool to help with a range of issues – from depression to post traumatic stress (PTSD) to career change and much more. Even if you can’t quite put your finger on what’s causing your general sense of unhappiness, and there’s nothing ‘wrong’ as such, therapy can help.
Perhaps you can relate to one or more of the statements below. If you do, the KlearMinds team of experienced counsellors, psychotherapists and life coaches is ready to help you achieve positive lasting change and provide you with a confidence tool kit that you can rely on for life. Why not get in touch today?
1 – You are suffering from unexpected mood swings.
If you’ve experiencing a persistent shift toward a more negative mood or thought process, this could be a sign of a mental health issue. With the help of a therapist, you can open up about your thoughts and feelings in a safe, supported environment to explore why you are unhappy and get to the root of the problem.
2 – You are undergoing a big change in your life.
Whether you’ve moved to a different part of the country, just had a baby or started a new career, all new ventures throw up challenges that you may need guidance and support with. If you can work with a professional who has a neutral perspective, s/he can help you identify goals and develop plans to achieve them while managing your life’s stressors.
3 – You are having negative, harmful thoughts.
If you are harbouring thoughts of self-harm or suicide, we highly recommend that you seek help straightaway. Fortunately, both are entirely preventable with treatment by a licensed professional – but you do need to tell someone NOW. For emergency situations, call The Samaritans on 116 123, Papyrus for under 35s (HOPELINEUK 0800 068 4141) or CALM (0800 585858) for men.
4 – You are withdrawing from things you used to enjoy.
Loss of motivation could be a signal that something is wrong. If you are normally an outgoing type of person but you are suddenly pulling away from socialising with your friends or family, your mental health may be suffering. A trained therapist can help you uncover why you are choosing to withdraw and how to deal with the underlying issues.
5 – You feel isolated or alone.
Many people experiencing mental health issues feel that they’re the only person in the world dealing with their experience. Individual and group therapy could help with you recognise the validity of your feelings and discovering that you’re not alone. The realisation that your problem is understood and shared by others can bring about a sense of comfort and hope.
6 – You are using a substance to help you cope.
If you are turning to alcohol, drugs or worse as a way to deal with issues in your life, it may be time to seek help. Addiction and substance abuse are medical conditions that can be treated. Going to see a therapist will help you understand and appreciate the issues surrounding your illness, enabling you to get treatment.
7 – You think you may have a serious mental health condition.
According to the charity MIND, around 25%of people in the UK will experience a mental health problem each year. Warning signs include severe nervousness, apathy or intrusive thoughts. If you have not been feeling right for a long time, it’s time to reach out. Psychiatric conditions such as bipolar disorder or schizophrenia are treatable.
8 – Your relationships feel strained.
Relationships can be hard work, especially when you keep miscommunicating with your partner and end up annoying each other instead. Therapy can help you explore better ways to relate to each other and deal with issues together effectively. Couples therapy can be beneficial to you, even if your other half doesn’t attend the sessions.
9 – You just need to talk to someone.
There’s nothing at all wrong with seeking professional help with your health, physical or mental. If you feel the need to speak to someone about your inner world, your emotions or what’s going on in your life, then do it. Talking therapies are not only perfectly normal, they’re a valuable experience that have a wealth of benefits.
While some people seem to be born lucky with an innate sense of purpose, for most of us this is simply not the case. But whether you’re 27 or 72, it is possible to shape your own path in life, and living it authentically and full of happiness.
Discovering your inner passion may not happen automatically, but if you give your inner voice a chance to be heard, you’d be surprised at what it might be telling you. Unfortunately, many of us are so used to shutting down our gut instincts with negative thinking that our inner confidence may never get a chance to develop fully.
Whether you keep telling yourself that it’s too difficult to become a teacher, too late to learn an instrument, too scary to start your own business, too silly to want to move to another country, or use any number of self-sabotaging statements to talk yourself out of what you would really love to do in life, it’s time to do something about it.
1. Discover your passion
At KlearMinds, we offer Life Coaching sessions to help you identify and clarify your goals, then devise strategies to help you realise your life’s ambitions. We recommend this exercise to start unlocking your potential and get your mind thinking along the right lines.
Start by making a list of your personal values, i.e. the ideals you believe in and that engender a sense of happiness and peacefulness when you live by them. Examples are creativity, integrity, honesty, adventure etc. Use them as touchstones for keeping you aligned with your own truth.
Next, write down a list of all the things you love to do. Explore and daydream, creating a scrapbook with words and images of everything that sparks joy for you. Notice the areas you find most exciting and that you want to explore further. These are the areas to focus on.
2. Take small steps forwards
Once you are clear about where you want to go, begin to experiment with your newly identified passion by engaging with the areas that interest you most. Perhaps read books by people who have done what you would love to do, and check out blogs or websites for ideas and strategies to take you there.
As you take more baby steps towards your chosen area, you will slowly start to build experience. Be careful not to run before you can walk so as not to trigger your usual ‘yes but’ self-sabotaging behaviour that can put a spanner in the works. Remember: Rome wasn’t built in a day, and the best way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time.
3. Practise positivity and persistence
Research has shown that positive thinking and visualisations can have a powerful effect on personal success. The more you can encourage yourself along your chosen path, the better. Practice visualisation techniques at the beginning and end of every day to picture yourself having achieved the outcome you want, then get your feelings aligned with your vision, so you feel happy and satisfied in your new role.
One of the habits of successful people is that they simply don’t give up in the pursuit of their dreams. When things get difficult and success is at its most elusive, their refusal to throw in the towel means they can weather the storm, their determination to succeed seeing them through. Use the power of positive thinking, give yourself a pat on the back for what you have already achieved, and don’t doubt that a positive outcome is just around the corner. Practice and persistence will pay off.
4. Reframe problems as opportunities
Your path to personal success may not run smooth. In fact, it’s a given that you will encounter problems and failures along the way, and you should be expecting them. But rather than feeling down in the dumps about anything that goes wrong, doubting your confidence and abilities, take each challenge as a positive opportunity for learning.
Did you know that Thomas Edison experienced 10,000 failures before he discovered how to create the light bulb? He put it this way: “I have not failed. I have just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” That’s the way to look at it.
5. Surround yourself with positive support
Sad but true, there are always going to be people who will undermine you. Sowing the seeds of doubt can be doubly powerful when it comes from people who are close to you – at home or at work – and especially if they mean well. You must protect yourself against negative voices who will tell you what can’t be achieved, why you’re not the right person for the job, or why your dreams are doomed to failure.
If successful people took notice of such negativity, would we have electricity, computers, and most of the brilliant inventions of our world? Do yourself a huge favour and surround yourself with those who give you praise and support. Seek out like-minded people who will be able to encourage and support you in your endeavour, and keep the doubters away.
6. Practise gratitude
Another important habit that successful people have is that they practise gratitude in thankful appreciation for what they have. It’s a way to acknowledge goodness in life, and you should be doing it too.
Make it part of your daily routine to note down the good things that have happened to you every day. Give thanks for your health, your eyesight, the beautiful weather, a person who helped you, a lovely experience… keep it simple and write it down. By focusing on noticing positivity in your life, you will attract more, and boost your own happiness.
Sometimes, despite your best endeavours, it is possible to get stuck and the changes you would love to achieve remain out of reach. This is when an experienced Life Coach, Career Coach or counsellor can be useful to help you regain momentum and move forward. Armed with new tools and strategies, you will be able to remove blocks to success and move confidently towards your goals.
Get in touch today to find out more, or book an appointment.
Did you know that being friendly can make a profound difference to the well-being of others and ourselves? One of the most fundamental human needs is connection. Being friendly supports this and more, making people feel appreciated and respected. Acts of kindness actually have a positive physiological effect on the body.
As the late poet and civil rights activist, Maya Angelou, once said, “People forget what you said and what you did. But they never forget how you made them feel.”
What is Be friendly in February?
Be friendly in February is a calendar of suggestions set out by Action for Happiness (see more about this organisation below). The February calendar offers a suggestion for each day of the month to encourage us to take action and be friendlier to others in our everyday lives.
So, what is the point exactly? Let’s take a look at what Action for Happiness represents.
What is Action for Happiness?
Action for Happiness are a movement of people committed to building a happier and more caring society. They believe there is a need to prioritise the things that cause happiness, including building positive relationships and looking after our mental health (both important contributors to happiness).
Every month Action for Happiness publish an action calendar based on a theme to encourage people to make a greater contribution to bringing about better, more caring communities. This month’s calendar is a humble reminder that it doesn’t take much to be friendlier towards family, friends, colleagues and even strangers.
Why be friendly?
There are so many benefits to being friendly, and such kindness doesn’t have to be limited to the people we know. Treating everyone you meet in the same way as you would like to be treated will add meaning and significance to your life.
There are many people experiencing relationship problems, feeling despair, and some who are lonely and/or suffering from anxiety or depression. Being friendly to someone, whether you are aware of any problems or not, can make such a difference to their day. A small act of kindness could do much more than you think.
Being friendly makes you feel good and boosts your own happiness, as well as others. Generosity is hard-wired to the reward mechanism in our brain. Being kind to others is actually good for our own well-being. Altruistic behaviour releases endorphins (chemicals in the body that heal wounds, calm you down and make you feel good).
One study by the Greater Good Science Center, UC Berkeley, found half of participants felt stronger and more energetic after helping others, and many felt calmer and less depressed.
A report by Random Acts of Kindness states that perpetually kind people have 23% less cortisol (the stress hormone) and age slower than the average population! Being friendly isn’t just good for those on the receiving end, it’s good for the instigator too.
Action for Happiness believe that helping others is the route to stronger communities and a happier society. Friendliness and kindness can have a domino effect. Why not take up the challenge and see what benefits being friendly in February can bring to you and those around you? It costs nothing, it could bring you the happiness you are searching for and it will have a positive impact on your physical and mental well-being.
Talking to someone when you feel overwhelmed can be really helpful. If you’d like to speak to one of our experienced counsellors about any problems you are experiencing, get in touch today.
The New Year has begun! Whether you’ve planned your resolutions for 2019, or don’t have anything in mind, the start of the year is a great time to start thinking about the year ahead. Finding something new to try in the New Year can not only help you relax, but can also help to improve your mental health. Learn a new skill, or find a new way to relax – focusing on something new can help make positive changes that can help make 2019 a happy New Year. Take a look at these five tips below:
1 – Write down all the positive things that happen
Making a note of the good things that happen to you each day can help to create a positive mindset, which will also benefit your overall mental wellbeing. Start a gratitude diary, or keep a note of positive things that have happened so you can look back on them. Try and write a few things each day. These don’t have to be huge, life changing events, they can just be simple things that happened in your day. Maybe you had a nice time with friends or family, got some good feedback at work, or went for a nice walk. Writing these moments down will not only help you to remember them, but can reinforce a positive mental attitude.
2 – Try something new
The New Year is a perfect chance to try out something new and exciting. Maybe there’s something fun that you’ve always wanted to try, or even an old hobby that you’ve been meaning to revisit. You could try and learn a new skill, or maybe you’ve been wanting to learn a new language. No matter what you decide, learning something new can be a great way to build confidence, boost your mood and maybe meet new people. Remember to have fun and enjoy the experience of learning. If you find that you’re not enjoying it anymore or feeling stressed, its fine to take a break and come back to it another time, or maybe try something else that interests you more.
3 – Try out mindfulness and meditation
Practicing mindfulness and trying out meditation can help you relax and give your mind some much needed downtime, as well as helping you in your day to day life. It is easy to learn, and there are many simple guides online to help you practise. A lot of the apps and guides available online also offer short sessions, so it doesn’t have to take up much of your time. Find a guide that works for you, then try and fit in a couple of meditation sessions each day.
Not sure where to start? Fortunately, there are some great mindfulness and meditation tools available for free. Here are just some of the apps that you could try:
Looking after yourself is important, and taking some “Me time” to relax and enjoy some time alone can help reduce stress and improve your mental wellbeing. It can also help you recharge and to prepare for the next day, helping you perform to your best ability. Remember that “Me time” doesn’t have to be something big, even taking a little time for yourself can help. Do something that you enjoy, or maybe take some time to try out some meditation. The important thing is that you get some time to relax.
5 – Get professional support if needed
If it seems like everything is getting on top of you and you’re struggling to cope, you may benefit from professional support. Our friendly and professional team at KlearMinds is made up of experienced counsellors trained to offer a range of therapies including counselling, psychotherapy, cognitive behavioural therapy and life coaching and can provide advice on a range of issues. If you would like to get in touch with us, you can do so by email on email@example.com or you can call us on 0333 772 0256. All information you provide is handled confidentially.
With Christmas in the air, December can be the most magical time. But rather than getting caught up in wish lists and the annual Christmas shopping frenzy, how about making this year a truly meaningful Christmas? Gifts don’t have to come wrapped and lying under the tree – it’s not about the money, it’s the thought that counts. We posted a heartfelt blog about this last year here.
And who says you have to wait until Christmas Day to give a present? Advent Calendars are a great way to celebrate every single day leading up to the main event, and they’re not just for children or come filled with chocolates.
Look at the Kindness Advent Calendar above and use it to perform an act of kindness every day in December. Did you know that 4th December is National Sock Day? What better way than to give new socks to a homeless person or shelter. On 13th December, cook an extra meal for someone who would appreciate it, and on 19th December give compliments to as many people as you can. You get the idea.
Obviously, you can make up your own gifts of kindness; there’s no need to rigidly stick to what it says on the calendar. The important thing is that you can use Christmas as a great opportunity to make someone, including yourself, happy.
You’ve heard of mindfulness at work, but what about mindful eating? While our relationship with food is not always straightforward, it’s good to see that people are generally becoming more conscious about the food they eat.
Whether this translates into trying to lose weight or choosing organic produce, cooking from scratch or cutting down on processed ingredients, it’s an active engagement with what we put into our bodies – and that must surely be a good thing. However, when we put this much care into choosing what we eat, it makes sense to put the same amount of love into the actual eating of it.
Do you often hurry or even skip your meals? Stress, for example, can be a powerful appetite suppressant that isn’t healthy at all. Do you multitask while eating? Do you make family mealtimes a priority? By respecting mealtimes and paying attention to the ritual of eating food, we prepare our bodies to receive the full benefit of the food. And eating mindfully not only helps your digestion (that’s a scientific fact) and therefore your physical health, it has mental health benefits too. Mindful eating helps you to feel calmer, happier and more satisfied.
Here are 7 tips to help you to eat more mindfully:
1 – Eat proper meals every day
If you’ve got into the habit of snacking all day, skipping breakfast or eating at irregular hours, try switching back to 3 regular meals per day. Eating balanced meals at regular intervals helps maintain steady blood sugar levels, keeping energy slumps at bay. What’s more, it takes our bodies around 3 hours to process meals after which it needs to rest. If you ‘graze’ throughout the day, you put more strain on the digestive system, making it sluggish and less efficient.
2 – Take your time over meals
In addition to taking regular mealtimes, it’s important not to rush our food. We spend such a small proportion of our day actually eating, and yet it’s an important time and process to nourish our bodies. Surely, even with stressful jobs and hectic lifestyles, everyone should be able to spare half an hour to sit down and eat properly?! Not only does eating more slowly, calmly and relaxed help us digest our food better, it’s an opportunity to really savour and relish each mouthful and enjoy the sensory pleasure of eating delicious food.
3 – Sit down while you eat
Grabbing a sandwich on the go or having a quick bite while you’re waiting for the train is a bad habit to get into. When we sit down, our bodies are at rest, meaning our energy can move inwards to the stomach and digestive system. Ever heard of ‘rest and digest’? That’s the state our nervous system should be in at mealtimes. Conversely, when we are standing up or moving around, the circulation is actively bringing blood to our arms and legs, while action hormones such as adrenaline are being released that are not helpful to the digestive process.
4 – Chew your food well
Digestion starts in the mouth – with chewing. If you rush your food and wolf down large mouthfuls, you are not getting the most from your meals. Good chewing allows you to assimilate the nutrients well – your teeth break down fibre and the saliva mixes with the food allowing the enzymes to break down the carbohydrates. Carb rich foods such as grains, beans and vegetables benefit particularly well from thorough chewing – and you will feel fuller more quickly. Try putting your cutlery down and chew each mouthful at least ten times.
5 – Make your meals screen free
Mindful eating means focusing on the process of nourishing your body. You can’t do that while you’re multitasking. However tempting it may be to eat in front of the TV, check your emails while having lunch or keep your phone next to you on the table just in case a message comes in, break the habit! Let mealtimes be just for eating and you’ll soon find that these times become small islands of rest and relaxation during a busy day.
6 – Make it look beautiful
Don’t underestimate the importance of the visual appeal of your dining area and the food itself. Wouldn’t you rather have your meals in attractive surroundings? And wouldn’t you prefer food that looked truly appetising to eat? Make the food look good with colour and garnish, served in pretty bowls and in an uplifting space, and feel the energy nourish you inside you as you’re having your mealtime break. Best of all, share the experience with family and friends and nourish your spirit too!
7 – Appreciate your meals
Rather than taking your meals for granted and viewing food as nothing more than fuel to get the body through the day, take a few moments to really think about where it has come from. It’s a humbling experience to truly appreciate the abundance of nature that makes it possible for all of us to be alive, part of the natural world that we live in. You don’t need to be especially spiritual to feel the interconnection between yourself and all other living things.
We all love a bit of retail therapy now and again, but when you get a buzz from the act of spending itself rather than from what you’ve actually bought, and particularly if you’re regularly spending more than you can afford, you might want to stop and think about what this might mean.
Put bluntly, emotional spending has nothing to do with shopping for things you need. Instead, you turn to spending money because of how you are feeling, such as in the following situations:
You’re feeling happy about something and you celebrate by going shopping.
You’re feeling unhappy with yourself and cheer yourself up by going shopping.
You’re feeling stressed about something and going shopping is a welcome distraction.
You’re feeling less than someone else and use shopping as a way to keep up with them.
A recent study showed that 19 million UK shoppers did so for emotional reasons. Emotional spending in 2017 led to a total of £26.5 billion in credit card debt – that’s a huge problem.
So, how do you know if you’re an emotional shopper? Well, ask yourself the following questions and see if one or several of them strike a chord:
Are you routinely trying to justify your purchases to yourself or to others?
Do you often feel worried or anxious after a shopping spree?
Do you make a habit out of hiding receipt, tags, shopping bags or any other shopping evidence?
Do you own lots of things you haven’t used or worn, or in fact forgotten that you had them?
If you’re affected by emotional spending, the trick is to understand what’s going on inside you, so that you can tackle the bad money behaviour. Here are 5 emotional motivations that can cause a disconnect between you and your financial decisions.
Once you’ve decided to put an end to your poor financial behaviour, there are some practical steps and techniques you can implement straight away to avoid emotional spending. These include:
Unsubscribe from mailing lists, so you are less likely to be seduced. The same goes for store cards – cut them up and close the account.
Never save your card details on shopping sites. The temptation to shop with just one click is far too great.
When shopping online, ask yourself whether you intended to buy the item when you first entered the website, how much you need it and how you would justify the purchase to someone else.
When you go shopping, set yourself a firm budget and take the money with you in cash, leaving cards at home.
Identify your triggers and devise alternative strategies to deal with the emotion that doesn’t involve spending.
As a last ditch resort, use the 24 hour rule: Wait for a full day and see whether you still really want to buy the item before making a purchase.
If you feel that it would be beneficial to speak to an experience and sympathetic counsellor about your emotional spending habits, please call the team at KlearMinds in confidence or email firstname.lastname@example.org. Our expert psychoanalysts, life coaches and counsellors are powerfully equipped to give you the best opportunity for positive results and help you achieve fast, lasting change.
If you regularly have trouble falling asleep, keep waking up in the night or suffer from insomnia, there may be a hundred reasons why this is happening. Perhaps an underlying medical condition, such as chronic pain, an overactive thyroid or kidney infection is causing you to sleep badly. Sleep deprivation can also be a symptom of stress, anxiety, depression and a host of other issues.
Whatever the cause, if it’s interfering with your quality of life or stopping you from performing your daily tasks, something must be done. Obviously, your first port of call should be your GP who can investigate (and hopefully eliminate) any physical health problems that might contribute to your poor sleeping.
If you think the cause may be related to your mental health, counselling or psychotherapy may help. Here at KlearMinds, we have a highly skilled team who have worked with many different people, and therapies that are designed to help you achieve positive, lasting change.
Meanwhile, back at home, there are some practical steps you can take to create the best possible sleep environment for yourself.
It all starts with having the right mattress. If your body is not optimally supported, you won’t sleep well. Too soft, too hard – everyone has their own preferences, but do get professional advice on the type of mattress that’s best for your body shape and weight. Do you sleep on your front, back or side? Suffer from chronic pain? Try out different mattresses in the showroom and look out for manufacturers offering trial periods (typically around 100 days) with a money-back option if the mattress doesn’t pass the home test.
Tech free zone
Your bedroom should be a place for rest. By all means watch a film, answer emails or catch up with social media in the evening, but keep it out of the bedroom. In fact, it’s a good idea to ban all gadgets and gizmos – TVs, laptops, tablets, smartphones etc – from the bedroom altogether. Not only do they have the effect of stimulating the brain when you want it to switch into sleep mode, any lights and noises emanating from the devices can disrupt your precious sleep.
Relaxing bedtime routine
Make it a priority to view your bedroom as your personal sanctuary. If necessary, use the next weekend to declutter and decorate to create a calming, restful vibe. A nightly wind-down routine is a great way to prepare your body and mind for bedtime. There are many tried and tested techniques you can try including a warm bath, a hot cocoa or herbal tea (no caffeine or alcohol!), relaxing essential oils (lavender pillow, roll-on aromatherapy blends, yoga or breathing exercises, ½ hour’s journal writing or reading in bed.
Ideal room temperature
A cool bedroom (6-18°C) will aid your sleep, while a hot room (24°C+) will make you toss and turn. Make sure you have a choice of winter and summer bedding at your disposal and use it wisely. During the warmer month, airing the room before in the evening will maximise cool air circulation (but do close the window if there’s a draught). In the winter, have a hot water bottle or fluffy bedsocks ready for extra snugliness that will help you drift off.
The importance of darkness
Our body’s circadian rhythm responds to light and darkness – we are biologically programmed to sleep when it’s dark and wake up when it’s light. Work with your body by keeping your sleep environment as dark as you can, eg by fitting blackout blinds, having a ‘no light at night’ house rule, wearing an eye mask and keeping phones and computers out of the bedroom – the blue light emanating from LED screens actually suppresses the release of melatonin, which our bodies need to relax and fall asleep.
Finally, make sure your sleep is not disturbed by noise, either from outside (traffic, dogs barking etc) or inside (night owl teenage kids, snoring partner, household appliances etc). Sometimes, earplugs are the only way to get some peace and quiet! That said, while loud, sudden noises will wake you up, soothing continuous sounds can be helpful to fall asleep to. Why not try one of the many ‘white noise’ apps available, or one that plays soothing nature sounds?
Ancient Greece may not be the first place you think of when considering the concept of resilience, which is basically the ability to bounce back from negative situations, but it is the home of Stoicism.
Stoicism was founded by Zeno of Citium in Athens in early 3rd century BC and teaches us that we cannot control external events, only our mental and emotional responses to them. It explores how negative self-talk can intensify and prolong our suffering.
As the saying goes: ‘Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional’.
Psychology Today neatly sums up this approach: “By adjusting our thinking, and how we think about our thinking, we can change our emotional responses, the extent to which we suffer (or not), our level of tension and stress, and in turn, our experience of pain.”
But the Stoics are often misunderstood and equated with being unemotional and indifferent to physical suffering.
In fact, the Stoics did not recoil from feeling grief, anger or pain any other emotion. Instead they focused on cultivating a level of detachment and observing their own thoughts. They thought that human happiness could be found only in accepting the present moment, rather than by being controlled by the pursuit of pleasure or the desperation to avoid pain.
The stoics preached working collaboratively and treating other people fairly and with empathy. They stressed the benefits of logic, self control and inner calm, something most of us could do with a large dose of.
The philosophy contends that the way to be happy is to live a virtuous life and that you should judge somebody based on their actions much more than their words.
The Daily Stoic has this to say about Stoicism: “Stoicism doesn’t concern itself with complicated theories about the world, but with helping us overcome destructive emotions and act on what can be acted upon. It’s built for action, not endless debate.”
Modern self-help books talk about resilience and mindfulness colouring books fly off the shelves, but they are both really based on Stoicism.
One of the most famous Stoics was Marcus Aurelius, Roman Emperor from 160 to 180AD, and some of his quotes are inspirational reminders about living an ethical, self-disciplined and humble life and treating fellow humans with kindness and compassion.
Meditations, his only major work, contains some profoundly moving statements and exhortations to live the most virtuous lives we can.
Inspirational quotes from Marcus Aurelius
Many of his thoughts focus on the impossibility of mastering outside events and accepting them with grace instead.
“The more we value things outside our control, the less control we have.”
“You have power over your mind – not outside events. Realise this, and you will find strength.”
“How ridiculous and how strange to be surprised at anything which happens in life.”
“If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.”
On acceptance and action: “Objective judgement, now, at this very moment. Unselfish action, now, at this very moment. Willing acceptance, now, at this very moment – of all external events. That’s all you need.”
On wisdom: “You’re subject to sorrow, fear, jealousy, anger and inconsistency. That’s the real reason you should admit that you are not wise.”
Back in the days of Seneca, Epictetus and Aurelius (all good Stoics) philosophy was about finding practical ways to live life, it was not as a theoretical construct removed from the reality of people’s lives, as it is sometimes today.
Did you know that it takes 30 days to form a new habit, or break an old one? If you’ve been wanting to make a change in your life – large or small – why not embrace the idea of a 30-day-challenge to see if you can make a positive impact?
If you need a bit of help or a large dose of inspiration, we recommend watching the short Ted Talk above, given by Matt Cutts 5 years ago.
Committing to a 30-day challenge can make a huge difference in your life in so many ways. By setting aside just a small amount of time every day for a month to devote to whatever challenge you’ve set yourself, you can gain more self confidence, feel empowered, more adventurous or simply happier with yourself.
Rather than trying to overhaul all your bad habits at once or make a drastic change to your routine which will be hard to sustain, you’ll be making tiny, almost imperceptible but progressive changes one day at a time, building upon your successes day by day.
Here are just some ideas of the sorts of 30-day-challenges you might like to consider.
Tackle an unhealthy habit
Whether you bite your nails, eat too much chocolate or don’t get enough sleep, use the 30-day-challenge to help you get on top of your unhealthy habit. Take it one day at a time and promise yourself a meaningful reward at the end of the month for having stuck to the challenge. If you need to, tell yourself that it’s only for 30 days – you can always go back to your old habits if you really want to. At the end of the period, check in with yourself and see what you want to do.
Spend more time outdoors
Are you spending the majority of your days inside, either at work or at home, and possibly spending too much time in front of a computer screen? Fresh air and exercise can do wonders for your mental and physical wellbeing. Why not challenge yourself to get outside at least once every day? Whether you simply sit outside and fill your lungs with fresh air, go for a walk around the block or resolve to walk to work instead of taking the car, even small amounts of outside time will help you feel calmer and more centred.
Take a digital detox
From smartphones and tablets to social media, TV and computers, it’s easy to become used to the digital world. Make a conscious effort to reconnect with the real world by restricting your access to digital technology for 30 days. Try to use your smartphone for phone calls only, don’t watch TV and keep the computer switched off outside of work. You’ll be surprised at home much time is suddenly available for real life activities, hobbies, meeting friends and generally being more present in the moment.
Carry out acts of kindness
Making other people feel good is a sure fire way to put a smile on your face too. Spend 30 days doing a good deed every day, completing a random act of kindness or giving someone a compliment. If you’re not sure how to do this, take inspiration from the Pay It Forward Foundation or the Random Act of Kindness Foundation, both of which are dedicated to spreading kindness throughout the world to change people’s perceptions and experience and make the world a happier place.
Take more exercise
We should all take more exercise but often life (and lack of motivation) gets in the way. Setting yourself a specific, measurable goal for only 30 days may be the perfect way to break through the mental barrier and get moving. Whether you commit to 30 Days of Yoga, take the 30-day abs challenge, or simply add 30 minutes of exercise into your daily schedule, you will feel more energised and positive at the end of the month.
Declutter for 30 days
If you’re feeling overwhelmed by the amount of ‘stuff’ you’ve accumulated but feel unable to gain control, a 30-day-challenge may be just the thing you need. Resolve to get rid of one item every day – either sell it, give it away or throw it away. Start the process of freeing up space in your home and marvel at the difference a little bit of decluttering can make after only a month. You may feel so liberated that you decide to keep going!
Keep a gratitude journal
If you feel that your life is in a rut and nothing great ever happens, it’s a good idea to count your blessings. A genius way to do this is to keep a gratitude journal. The idea is to think of at least one good thing that happened to you every day. It doesn’t matter if it’s a tiny thing (‘a nice sunny day’) or a big deal (‘got a pay rise’) – what’s important is to refocus your mind to see and appreciate all the good things that do invariably happen. Write it down in a journal and review all your positive experiences after 30 days.
Whatever you feel may need attention in your life, KlearMinds have a team of expert counsellors that have helped many people overcome a wide range of concerns, empowering them with the skills to maintain happier and more fulfilled lives. For a confidential chat or to book an appointment, please contact us.
...I had tried counselling before and thought it wasn't for me. I now realise that finding the right counsellor makes all the difference. As a result I feel in control, grounded and confident in all parts of my life and most importantly, I feel capable of moving forward...
Overcoming Anxiety & Depression
Outstanding at providing me with what I needed, not as a "quick fix" but by giving me the tools to use whenever I may need them in the future...
Help with Bereavement & Depression
...Straight away Maggie was warm, kind and understanding... I didn’t want to be in therapy for a long time, I just wanted to get better, get on with my life... I cannot recommend Maggie highly enough to you. Whilst life still presents me with challenges I can cope with them as I feel so much stronger now – I owe her much.
Career & Relationship Therapy
My relationship with my partner is now fantastic, as are my relationships with my family... I am so much happier now than I have been in many, many, years....