Coping With Personal Loss

Maggie Morrow, counselling, CBT therapy, life coach and psychotherapist London. MSc Integrative Psychotherapy, BSc Psychology, Adv Dip, UKCP.
Author: Maggie Morrow, Award Winning Psychotherapist, Counsellor & Life Coach
Last updated: 16th March 2023

5-stages-of-grief

When a loved one dies, it can feel like the end of the world as we know it. The natural response of grieving for our loss is a hard and extremely painful process to go through, and we all have a different and unique response to losing someone close.

Bereavement counselling is there for you when it seems like you’re drowning in sorrow, unable to move forward. That’s when it can be enormously beneficial to work with a trained therapist who can help you through the stages of grieving to enable you to acknowledge and process what has happened. With the benefit of counselling, you will in time allow life to continue with adaptation and change while preserving the memory of the person who passed away.

There are 5 generally recognised stages of grieving that we all go through when learning to cope with personal loss. As you move through the bereavement process, you may experience some or all of these stages and in any order. It is an important part of the healing process to allow yourself to experience and accept all the feelings as they occur.

  1. Shock and Disbelief

The first response to a bereavement is typically one of disbelief and shock, even if the death did not come as a surprise. Numbness is often a natural reaction to an immediate loss – it’s our body’s way to shield us from the intensity of the event, and can be useful when action needs to be taken, for instance to make funeral arrangements. As we slowly acknowledge what has happened, the feelings of shock and denial will diminish.

  1. Guilt and Bargaining

This stage involves an intense preoccupation with what might have been, if only some other course of events had occurred. It’s easy to obsess endlessly about how things could have been better, what could have been done to prevent the worst outcome. That’s why it is important to resolve this stage, so that guilt and remorse don’t get in the way of the long-term healing process.

  1. Anger

Many people will experience anger over their personal loss which may feel unfair and untimely. Strong feelings of anger can be a result of perceived helplessness and powerlessness, either as a result of having somehow been ‘abandoned’ by the deceased or because a higher power was at play.

  1. Depression and Loneliness

Once the full extent of the loss is realised, sadness and loneliness begin to set in. Normal responses may develop into depression as it becomes difficult to ease the pain. Sleeplessness, low mood, appetite disturbances, lack of energy, self-pity, social withdrawal and physical pains are all symptomatic of this stage of grieving.

  1. Acceptance

In the final stages of bereavement, we begin to fully accept that the death has occurred and we are slowly allowing ourselves the ability to manage its effect on us. Healing can begin once the loss becomes integrated into our life experiences and we are able to move forward with our life.

If you feel that it would be helpful to speak to an experienced bereavement counselor to share your personal circumstances, please contact us to arrange an appointment at one of our London clinics.

Helpful Guides About Therapy

Woman with head in her hands appearing upset. Credit: Andrew Lozovyi

6 Strategies for Managing Grief

4th December 2024

Everyone experiences grief in different ways and there is no right or wrong way to grieve. After a loss, there…

How Therapy Can Help with Trauma and Building Resilience

How Therapy Can Help with Trauma and Building Resilience

29th November 2024

Trauma is a multifaceted experience that can significantly impact a person’s overall wellbeing. Whether stemming from a single event or…

November is Men’s Mental Health Month

22nd November 2024

It’s great to have some time specifically aimed at supporting men towards healthier, longer and more fulfilling lives.  November is…

Woman Hugging a Pillow Cropped

Grief Awareness Week December 2024

16th November 2024

This December, Grief Awareness Week starts on the 2nd of the month.   By highlighting grief, the week is an important…

Panic Attack

Balancing Life: Managing Stress, Family Dynamics, and Work-Life Harmony with Therapy

30th October 2024

Juggling the demands of work, family and personal wellbeing can often feel overwhelming. The pressure to meet career goals, nurture…

World Mental Health Day

It's Time to Prioritise Mental Health in the Workplace

9th October 2024

This year’s World Mental Health Day offers us an opportunity to put the spotlight on mental health in the workplace.…

Maggie Morrow - Winner Of BACP Award in Therapy

Get a Therapist Recommendation

Free Consultation: Get in touch for a personal recommendation OR to arrange a free telephone consultation with Maggie Morrow, Award Winning Therapist & KlearMinds Director.

Money back guarantee: 95% of our recommendations are successful. However, if your first appointment doesn’t feel like the right match – let us know. Based on your feedback, we can recommend a free appointment with a different therapist or if you prefer, you can request a refund.

Get a Therapist Recommendation
Private Therapy Rooms in London
Online Counselling Available